So I found myself sitting in the garden in the sunshine this afternoon, I was smoking, enjoying a cheeky beer, colouring in a new picutre in my monsters book and feeling sad. I didn't really want to give into it, but it wasn't something I could ignore. This afternoon my bf flew off to the continent for an indefinite amount of time.
He has to renew his passport, register his residence in Italy and see a man about a job. No one really knows how long this entire process is going to take. No one knows what the outcome of the job situation is going to be, no one really has any definite answers.
In the meantime I have to keep myself busy. I'm going to start making things again, I have some accounting to do, I have a lot of rearranging/organising to do in my bedroom and office, I'm learning how to touch type properly, I need to learn Italian and I want to so a teaching course. Oh and I need to get my driving licence.
However, all these things won't change the fact that the bed will be empty, that I won't have any cuddles or kisses, I won't get to share stupid jokes or tickle fights on a regular basis. I sound really sappy but I'm going to miss him. The regular feeling is an instant snap of sadness and loneliness, then it clears with a joyful feeling of freedom to do what I want when I want, but is shortly followed by a long and deep feeling of pain and loneliness.
I guess I'll have to turn to the internet to drown my sorrows...